"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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