well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
