he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
