I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
