As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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