these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
