Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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