I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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