Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize