just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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