am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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