; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
