I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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