plz talk dirty to me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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