I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
