I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize