So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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