Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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