I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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