Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
