God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
