so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He did a backflip because drugs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
