Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I pour the whiskey from now on
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
