just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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