How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
