Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
