I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
