he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
