Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
