GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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