i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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