New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
