What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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