so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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