He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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