you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
