I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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