Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
