I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
