I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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