I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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