i permit you to call me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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