He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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