There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
