now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
