Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
