the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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