Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
