Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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