Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
