You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
