I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
