someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
