p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize