So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
