I just threw up on my dentist
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
foreskin is a definite game changer
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
