It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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