i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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