It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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