I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
