I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
