pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
