I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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