God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize