Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
