Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
