butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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