hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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