i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize