i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
50% drunk capacity currently
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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