some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
