Acid is not a monday night drug
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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