It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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