your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
