I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize