Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
