she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
wow bdsm is so cute
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
