so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
