You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
